I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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