No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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