Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize