omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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