Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
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Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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