she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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