Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize