I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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