I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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