um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
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Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
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after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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