Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
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Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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