I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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