How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
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I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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