They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
A bitchslap is in order.
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