I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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