Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize