it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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