I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
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Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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