The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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