just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize