k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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