How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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