how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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