she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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