i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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