Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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