So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
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I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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