im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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