I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize