the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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