We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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