I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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