Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
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Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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