also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize