great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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