I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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