I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize