I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize