I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize