Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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