He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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