Nicole vs. Life
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
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