I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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