I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize