The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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