I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize