I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize