I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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