I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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