I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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